Rūz rā bulandtar mī'khvāham: Persian 1401
روز را بلندتر می خواهم
30.46 £
Share
Wishlist
From all that closeness, because my eyes were on his nose and my breath was stuck on his face. Maybe he didn't expect me to ask why he came back so cold and demanding. But I was angry with myself at that moment, it was hurting me. My sense of self was hurting me. The fact that I couldn't pass by him, that after all these years my heart still trembled when I saw him and I couldn't lie to myself, it made me nervous, I was angry with myself that I was staring into his eyes with my eyebrows tied and asking him why he was there. My breathing was slow due to fatigue. My head shook sadly and I wanted to pass by him, but he suddenly hit me, I stopped and looked up. You couldn't tell from his eyes what was going on in his head, why was he here, it didn't matter why I didn't care about him, it mattered why I was on the verge of death, it mattered why I was losing my life again because of this person, it mattered.
more
از اون همه نزدیکی از این که نظرم می پیچید تو بینیش و نفسم میخورد تو صورتش جا خورده بود. شاید هم توقع نداشت اون قدر یخی و طلبکار بپرسم چرا برگشته. من اما تو اون لحظه از خودم عصبانی بودم بودنش منو زجر می داد. حس خودم منو زجر می داد. این که نمی تونستم از کنارش بگذرم این که بعد این همه سال هنوز دلم با دیدنش می لرزید و به خودم نمی تونستم دروغ بگم عصبیم می کرد از خودم عصبانی بودم که با ابروهای گره شده زل زده بودم تو چشمهاش و ازش می پرسیدم چرا اون جاست نفسهام از سر کلافگی از سر در موندگی به شماره افتاد. سرم به تأسف تکون خورد و خواستم از کنارش بگذرم آروم صدام زد ایستادم و نگاهم بالا رفت. از چشمهاش نمیشد فهمید تو سرش میگذره چرا اینجا بود مهم نبود چرا من بی خیالش نمیشدم مهم بود چرا من چمچاره ی مرگ گرفته بودم مهم بود چرا من دوباره داشتم زندگیم رو به خاطر این آدم می باختم مهم بود.
more
